The Theme of Deconstructing Faith in ‘The Knight and the Moth’
“I believe in the Omens as much as you do… But I have no faith in them.” (77)
What happens when your carefully constructed worldview is shattered? Who are you when your fortress of faith is dismantled? Sybil Delling is a sheltered prophetess with no memory of before her tenure at Aisling, the prophetic hub of the Stonewater Kingdom, and when she encounters alternative perspectives to her sheltered faith, she is shaken.
Summary
Sybil, otherwise known as “Six,” only remembers her name. She doesn’t remember where she came from; she only remembers rising from the fetid magical waters of Aisling while the abbess dubbed her “strange, special, and new.”
She is the perfect prophetess, eagerly dreaming the signs for the wealthy and nobility of the kingdom. But to dream… she needs to drown. Quite literally. Every time. When the new boy-king, Benedict Castor the Third, rides into her cathedral fortress, she is called upon to dream for him, and then encounters the most unorthodox pair of knights she’s ever known.
Rodrick Mendacious (Rory) is an orphan-turned-knight who has little faith in the prophetic system of the Diviners. Sybil considers him sacrilegious, even. His challenges to her faith threaten to shatter everything. Who is she if the Omens are not truly gods? What is the purpose of her life if not to dream prophecies?
The Knight and the Moth addresses the deeper issues of deconstructing a faith that no longer fits the believer, like clothes grown too small. Sybil walks down this path, at first sure in her naivety behind the cathedral walls, and then uncertain as she is confronted with truths outside the walls that don’t match the stories she has been taught all her life.
But she is bold, asking big questions and then seeking out the answers, all the while seeking her identity and finding a place to belong.
Deconstructing Faith in Evangelicalism
Many evangelicals are terrified of faith deconstruction. An equal number (usually millennials) have embraced it, tearing apart the often corrupt, all-too-literalist foundations of Western Evangelicalism. While other Christian traditions are not exempt from deconstruction, my personal experience has been from within the fundamentalist evangelical branch, and so this article will approach the issue from this angle.
Within the fortress walls of fundamentalism, the ‘slippery slope’ argument is often used.
For example, “If you believe that women can preach, then you’ve given Satan a foothold in your church. It’s only a matter of time before you’re all condemned to hell for believing the wrong things.”
Of course, that’s just a caricature of the issue of women in church leadership, but the heart of the matter is there. There is a deep concern for gatekeeping the ‘right doctrine’ and making sure you believe and do all the ‘right things.’ Diverging from traditional patriarchal home and family roles is akin to misreading Scripture, for literal biblicist interpretations of Scripture reign supreme.
Again, I mention this particular issue because it is close to my heart, but evangelical gatekeeping may also include LGBTQ+ exclusion from churches, issues on abortion, arguments for literal seven-day creation versus evolution, escapist eschatology via the ‘rapture,’ and never smoking, drinking, or dancing (though where those specific issues are found in Scripture, I have yet to discover).
At the bottom line, Western evangelicalism (especially fundamentalism) is very concerned with the ‘right things.’
Sybil, too, believes that there is a right story—the one that the abbess tells her. The problem, she finds, is that when she gets to know people outside the shelter of Aisling, they have different stories.
The abbess, she realizes, is not the gatekeeper of the truth. It’s only an illusion. Her sovereign authority has allowed her to perpetuate a version of the story that is widely accepted as truth, but it is not the truth. When made aware of others’ lived experiences within the system, Sybil realizes that these other stories are incongruent with the story that she has always been told.
When faith is built primarily upon all the ‘right beliefs,’ it is only a matter of time before these beliefs are torn apart by the messiness of human life. Theologian Peter Enns calls this the “sin of certainty.” Faith, it turns out, is not at all certain. Faith is the ability to trust God within the uncertainty and messiness of life.
Jesus himself was more concerned with how people are living their faith than what they are believing.
When a paralyzed man was brought to him, Jesus healed his body and soul. The teachers of the law declared that Jesus was blaspheming, that he was making outrageous and unorthodox claims about God, which bordered on the death penalty.
Jesus stepped into a boat, crossed over and came to his own town. Some men brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.”
At this, some of the teachers of the law said to themselves, “This fellow is blaspheming!”
Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “Get up, take your mat and go home.” Then the man got up and went home. When the crowd saw this, they were filled with awe; and they praised God, who had given such authority to man. (Matt. 9:1-8)
The irony is thick—the teachers of the law called Jesus blasphemous. They had no frame of reference for what Jesus was claiming to do. It didn’t fit with their lived experience. Either their long-held interpretive traditions had to go, or Jesus had to go. Holding both perspectives in one hand wouldn’t work at all.
Over and over again in the Gospels, we see Jesus challenging the traditional paradigms: Choose Jesus or choose the Law.(1) You can’t hold onto both at the same time. It is a crossroads.
Many chose the Way of Jesus, rejecting the long-held values of Judaism. Paul went so far as to reject the ancient covenantal sign of circumcision and Jewish dietary laws.
Others were tempted, but couldn’t quite leave behind their long-held worldviews—the rich young man, for instance (Matt. 19:16-22), or the Pharisee Nicodemus (John 3:1-21).(2)
In The Knight and the Moth, we see Sybil choose the hard path that leads to destroying her long-held traditions in favour of a newer, better way that leads to true family.
What The Knight and the Moth Gets Right
Sybil is challenged by alternative stories to her faith. When a young Christian is exposed to alternative ways of following Jesus outside of fundamental evangelicalism (or any faith tradition), sees with clarity the corruption of state-church associations and the mistreatment of women and minorities within the church, or discovers scientific principles that contradict the biblical narrative, they too are challenged in their faith.
They begin to realize that the sole authority of their pastor is not truly the only word on the issue (whatever the issue may be). This, too, is an illusion.
The correct response to being challenged by alternative perspectives, I might suggest, is not to double down on ‘believing the right things.’ Belief will only get you so far. Rory, in response to Sybil’s accusation that he has no faith, says,
“I believe in the Omens as much as you do… But I have no faith in them.” (77)
That is, belief does not equal faith. The apostle James says this, too: “Even the demons believe [in Christ], and shudder!” (James 2:19)
Faith, it turns out, has far more to do with discovering who we are and where we belong. Jesus and the entire biblical narrative say affirmatively, “I love you and you belong within God’s family.” This is the gospel truth.
Sybil finds her identity and a deep sense of belonging with Rory, Maude, and Benji—a new family. She finds a purpose outside of her cloistered upbringing, one that professes faith in a much deeper principle, which is love and the discovery of truth that does not exploit others.
The Knight and the Moth is an excellent foray into the fear, uncertainty, and anger of faith deconstruction. Sybil tackles it with boldness and courage. She does not shy away from the deeper questions. She knows that to pull one Jenga block from the tower may destroy the entire structure… and she does it anyway.
That is true faith.
Final Reflections
The correct response to challenges to faith, then, is to engage with those who believe differently. Approach the issue or difference in belief with curiosity and attentiveness. Ask good questions. Be willing to be wrong. They might just have something to teach you about the goodness of God and the truth of his nature.
That’s what Sybil does. She recognizes where there are incongruencies between the faith that she was taught and the reality of the world, and she hungers for truth. She longs for an alignment of her faith, experiences, and relationships.
Don’t we long for that, too? Isn’t that why so many millennials have left evangelical churches?
When faced with incongruencies in your own faith and lived experiences or the experiences of others, what will you do? Will you double down on what you believe is ‘right’? Or will you ask questions, be bold and courageous, and pull that Jenga block from your carefully constructed tower?
There might just be a better way of living than the one you’ve always known.
A Prayer for Deconstructing Faith
God, when I am faced with challenging questions that upend everything that I thought I knew about you, keep me humble.
When I experience pain and suffering that don’t fit with what I’ve been taught, keep me attentive.
When the experiences of others quite frankly make more sense than what I’ve always known, keep me curious.
Amen.
Footnotes
These aren’t strictly opposites (as Jesus says in Matt. 5:17), but rather a choice to stick with the old perspective or move ahead with the new, which says that Jesus is the fulfillment of all the Scriptures.
We don’t know for certain what happened to Nicodemus. No response is recorded in John 3. Later, in John 19:39, Nicodemus joins Joseph of Arimathea in preparing Jesus’ body for burial, suggesting that he may have become a follower of Jesus after all.
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What happens when your carefully constructed worldview is shattered? Who are you when your fortress of faith is dismantled?